My Sexy Secret Life

Why I never learnt to dance

It is a great sadness to me and a somewhat shameful admission that I can’t really dance. Although I seem to have no problems matching some one else’s natural rhythm and maximising mutual pleasure, the same cannot be said when I try to set my natural ‘rhythm’ to music.

I blame this entirely on the surge of hormones which turned an innocent little boffin into a very bad girl indeed! My friends didn’t seem to feel their hormones quite as keenly as I did and danced their little hearts out when we went clubbing, whereas I had a completely different agenda – I was on the hunt for men and less men frequent the dance floor than those who watch it or congregate by the bar areas. Yes, you can get get some action on the dance floor but if things get too rude the crowd turns against you (and sometimes a bouncer can be called to evict you!!) and it is very hard for people to hear the naughty suggestions that you are whispering in their ears when the music is blaring. So, naturally I chose to remain in the areas that had the maximum number of single men!

No doubt, I must have had a terrible reputation but I thought I was being fairly discrete as I lured my prey into toilets and alley ways desperate for cock as my friends hit the dance floor. However, I think my friends chose to treat me kindly (which they did) firstly because I was always a good friend but also because I never failed to have a good selection of men around me, who enjoyed my flirting and attention! And when my friends weren’t dancing they could always count on me to introduce them to some likely lads for them to choose from, one of my friends even married one of a group that I’d got talking/flirting to!

But alas, years that I should have spent on the dance floor learning to dance were spent learning more about the mechanics of the natural bump and grind. I do really like putting dance music on loud and jumping around the room though! It makes me happy and everyone else around me laugh (because I still can’t dance and tend to look pretty funny!), which means I mostly do it in strict privacy, unless I can trust some one enough to share the joy and laugh/and or jump about with me rather than laughing condescendingly AT me! However, I would one day like to have a go at being a burlesque dancer, all the feathers, sequins, glitter and nipple tassels entice and allure me, not to mention the idea of being the centre of erotic attention… So, I guess I’ll just have to work on the dancing!

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