I met up with an old and very dear ex work collegue tonight. I am extremely fond of him and it was great to see him. We also have chemistry BUT he is married (fairly unhappily) with four children. We flirted gently over drinks and dinner.
He confessed that his wife had accused him of being a terrible lover and he was very hurt. I have known him for years and I know what she puts him through, we also talk a fair deal about sex and I simply don’t believe, from what I know of him that he would be a bad lover and I told him so. In fact, I’d quite like to go to bed with him and I know that the feeling is mutual, but there’s the rub… he is a dear friend and things could get very, very messy. I can say hand on heart that I do love him as a friend but there are some things that he does not know about me and that includes escorting. I know from past experience that boyfriend’s don’t tend to think too highly of that and as I have every intention of returning it is not something that I am willing to give up.
The evening came to an end and we stood at the station letting train after train go by and I knew that he was hopefully waiting for the kiss that could change everything. I just couldn’t, our friendship is too dear to me but as I eventually caught a train and as the train doors were beeping their warning of closure we grabbed each others hands, not wanting to let go, wanting so much more, our eyes locked in mutual admiration but, I think I/we did the ‘right’ thing….I just don’t need complications like that in my life and niether does he.