After my recent blog about my submissive adventures a lover of mine asked whether I craved submission during all of my sexual adventures. My answer was an instant and instinctive ‘no’ but then I really had to think about why I felt that. I am not sure that I was very succinct in my answer and I am still mulling it over as it is such a difficult question for me to answer. Both GFE/BFE and Sub/Dom, for me, anyway are like two different but perfectly matched pieces of a jigsaw, when the pieces match then a wonderful experience can result, as complex beings with many parts to match and merge, different pieces of different people join in different ways to create unique experiences.
The truth, as I see it is that I genuinely enjoy the intimacy of GFE or indeed BFE as it is when two people connect as lovers, I feel blessed to have so many amazing encounters with men that I respect and trust, it goes deeper than that, they are friends and lovers too. It is warm and lovely and well, just wonderful.
Submission is, to some extent different, it definitely requires a great deal of trust and mutual respect and can sometimes start as something softer, it all depends. Ultimately though it is about control and as a submissive giving up control. I guess it is more in the mind, more thought is required, being a lover is instinctive, being a submissive, while still totally natural for me is less about connecting and more about obeying but then, it still turns me on hugely with the right person, it’s just a different kind of turned on to GFE. I enjoy both and don’t expect both from my lovers, one or the other (or sometimes both!) comes naturally!