My Sexy Secret Life

Stupid People

My new in call has led me to carrying a rather heavy suitcase in and out of Central London. Not being a lady that likes to see more than one client a day means that actually living in the heart of the city would not be practical, luckily for me I have friends that are happy for me to entertain in various locations, the last week or so being warren street, and the next week or so as well as warren street I will also be entertaining in west hampstead.

The downside of this is that I am often dragging a heavily loaded suit case full of candles, lingerie, heels and anything else that I think my client may enjoy around London. That’s one heavy suitcase! And while I am hugely considerate of those around me I hate to dilly dally and I am generally extremely focused as to where I am going. There in lies the problem…. it seems that many people are completely unaware of their surroundings and those around them, so as I am determined to get to where I am going endless hoards of (stupid) people are getting in my way.

I have a strategy. I ask nicely and politely first for them to move out of the way. Almost always they remain in their own world, but I am not going to miss a train for them (transport in south london is precarious, we only have buses and trains, if you miss one it will set you back at least half an hour!) so I wheel past with my suitcase, and I admit deliberately clip their ankles for their stupidity.
If I am getting off a train when people don’t have the manners to wait for me to get off; I pull my suitcase behind me and with as much force as possible get it off the train, if it hits some one rude enough to get on while I am trying to get off then I am not in the least bit sorry, and neither do I apologise…. they are clearly stupid and ignorant people.

I left my in call the other day, laden with a suitcase and then also a new purchase from a well known shop which was offering an evening discount and a glass of champagne. Well who was I to resist!? But they put my heavy purchase in a paper bag (stupid people!) and of course as soon as I was far enough down the road not to contemplate going back the bag handles broke and I was left juggling a heavy suitcase, hand bag and; ok I’ll admit it a chicken brick!

It was freezing cold, I was dragging my case behind me and trying desperately not to drop my newly acquired piece of clay cook ware. Desperately dodging stupid people I was in a very, very bad mood. Then, up ahead I saw a group of protesters that I really did not want to get caught up in – I just wanted to get home, so I speeded up to best avoid them and hit a very nice man in the ankles as I crossed his path. I hit him not once but twice as he hadn’t seen my suitcase and the second time around he did a last minute, comedy jump, narrowly missing hitting the pavement face first. Bless him he was very sweet but the delay meant that that those f**king protesters were all around me and I wasn’t going anywhere fast; I was tired, grumpy and quite frankly ready to fight anyone…. it was then that I noticed that they were marching for the rights of ladies just like me……..Time to re learn a little humility I think!

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