Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to share with you my recent experience with a product from your ‘anal **** ******’; the product was called a ‘**** anal ****’ and appeared to be of good quality.
I am an experienced sex worker and have a vast experience with many toys. I always test toys that I am considering using on my clients on myself first as I believe it to be my professional responsibility.
My initial reaction to the toy was very pleasurable – it slipped in very easily (carefully ensconced in a condom to ensure hygiene) and helped me, along with some additional clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm.
All was well and good up until this point but the vibrations had become a lot more intense and somewhat uncomfortable. I soon discovered why … reaching down to remove the toy I realised that this was not going to be a simple procedure as the entire toy had now made it’s way fully into my body.
Luckily as I am not squeamish – having studied human anatomy and being somewhat of an expert in the sexual arts – I wasn’t too phased. What comes up, as they say – must come down. I sat on the toilet and bore down further facilitating the exit of this now rather uncomfortable vibrating piece of rubber from far deeper in my bowel than I had ever expected. Around 10 minutes later it was out of my body and back in my possession.
I am very glad that I had tested this toy (as per my standard protocol) on myself before using it on a client. I can only imagine what might have happened if this had happened during a play session and I doubt I would have been able to remove it from a clenched back passage. This would have most likely have lead to a trip to A&E and being of relatively low priority (as it is unlikely to injure) could have led to many hours of discomfort and embarrassment.
I am not asking for a refund as the product has clearly been used but I would like the reassurance that this defective toy will be further investigated with regards to it’s safety. Furthermore I would consider being a sex toy ‘tester’ for adequate reimbursement as your current safety measures are clearly not sufficient.
I appreciate that ********* is an American company and that it is currently Thanks Giving – so your response may take a little longer than usual. I wish you happy holidays and look forward to hearing from you.
Please note: I have obscured certain identifying factors of the email I sent as I am not sure as to the legality of publishing them but I never did get a reply …