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Winter Celebrations

Ah Winter. Halloween, Bonfire Night and Christmas to look forward to……

I am desperately trying to resist not ‘decorating’ my flat for Halloween. Although I promise to treat rather than trick any visitors coming to mine around Halloween Time.
Bonfire Night at my parents village is always fun… there are a few ex military types in charge of the fire works (one of whom I really fancy and we do flirt but he is married and it’s a bit too close to home to end up ‘accidentally’ sucking his cock, as much as I would like to) who make sure things always go off with a big bang! Mothers delicious but lethal cider should be ready by then too (to be treated with extreme caution on account of unmeasured but deceptively high levels of alcohol) there are drunken casualties ever year.. those who know it sip it!
Then there’s Christmas; now gentlemen I suggest ditching the Mistletoe this year and gifting your partner some of this instead… 😉 If you’re single then maybe attach some Mistletoe around it but don’t go blaming me if you get a slap!
deep throat
Ladies, I’d recommend sticking to somewhat more traditional methods 😉 although actually getting it inked may be a touch too far for most!
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How not to seduce your valentine!


If I was trying to seduce my friend Dolly this evening, I would have failed miserably. A less romantic night, even on valentines day you’d struggle to find! Our choice of restaurant was not good. Not good at all, although dimly lit and festooned with red balloons the music couldn’t have been more tragic or more cringe worthy, in fact it was a lot like this…

The food wasn’t bad but the singing took on a new kind of awful when somewhat worse for wear customers were invited to join in and the volume was turned up so high we couldn’t hear each other speak. Although if I must be honest they were on par with the paid entertainment.

As always it was an absolute pleasure to see Dolly despite the circumstances but we both agreed that this was the perfect place to take a date that you were hoping would go off you but you couldn’t quite face dumping…. especially if you could persuade the entertainment to serenade you! However; if you’re looking to charm rather than dump your lady … here’s a good thing to read:
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The Art of Secret Communication


My clients well being and discretion is foremost in my mind when communicating about appointments and it varies wildly from person to person. Some prefer text, some prefer phone calls and many prefer emails. However in this day and age when a phone displays not only texts but emails too on their screens it makes things doubly tricky. When and what is the best way to communicate?

I tend to err on the side of caution. I don’t send texts or return calls and I won’t email either if I am warned if this is an issue…. I actually will never call unless I have recieved a very recent text or email saying that it’s ok.

So what should I do when a client calls me several times in one day and I can’t take the calls and I know texts and emails are also potentially problematic? When I know that they are self employed so who knows where they might be half the time!? Truth be told I don’t know! I risk causing offense if I’m not in touch and causing trouble if I am.

This has happened recently …. so ‘G’; I’m really sorry I missed your calls but please do get back in touch; it would be lovely to see you again 🙂

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My Secret Life

When I originally discovered that the Independent ran a regular article in their Sunday magazine entitled ‘My Secret Life’ I was enraged and assumed that a journalist had stolen my nickname; further investigation proved that it had been around for far longer than I had, so I have kept quiet until now. However, I thought it might be fun to answer their standard questions…
My parents are… Fairly eccentric, rather like their daughter! My father was delighted by the mad cow disease scare because it drastically brought down the price of beef, we ate a lot of beef! He later stock piled tins of beef to feed his entire family in case of a bird flu epidemic. It was, he said an act of love, to be able to feed his family in troubled times. My mother eventually managed to persuade him to reduce his hoard. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t still have some hidden away somewhere though.
My Mother was rather horrified by blatant sexuality and found and threw away the best erotic porn stash that I have ever owned. I still mourn/miss it!
The household I grew up in… always had a cat, sometimes hamsters and the occasional fair ground goldfish which tended to live for as long as it had taken to win it. Thinking about it in hindsight, I hope they don’t still give away goldfish as prizes it’s rather cruel.
Oh and I had two sisters too, who are both rather lovely and two of my closest friends.
When I was a child I wanted to be…  A Mermaid. (Yes, really!)
You wouldn’t know it but I am very good at… People management, the one thing I really miss about being singularly self employed is recruiting, managing and supporting a team for the greater good.
You may not know it but I’m no good at… Sewing. Thank god for dry cleaners! And my sister, much loved for her button sewing skills!
I wish I had never worn… Shell suits! But it was the 80’s, everybody wore them… until we discovered just how flammable they were! Thankfully I never wore mine on bonfire night.
My favourite item of clothing.. Is my grey satin basque, it is beautiful and I feel beautiful in it.
My house is… very modern and as uncluttered as possible. It’s in a great area of London close to the river and I feel very lucky to live here.
A book that changed me… The Pearl by Anonymous; a very rude book of victorian erotica which shaped my sexuality at the tender age of twelve.
My secret crush… is Jimmy Carr, I was working as a bar assistant during the Edinburgh Festival just before he got really famous. I was bar tending during one of his shows and his frequent jokes about anal sex made me think that we’d get on very well in bed! I made him coffee once… now there’s my claim to fame!
My real-life villains… Are highly judgemental people – they divide our world and cause so much unnecessary suffering. Strong people don’t put others down, they lift them up.
The last time I cried… Was when I found out that Father Christmas only cums once a year, it’s very sad….He should come to see me! I bet he’d love my Christmas stockings!
Ok. Very Bad Joke, I’ll stop now!
My five-year plan… I love what I do so I’m hoping to be here in five years time, still doing the same thing, loving life, having fun and sharing it with other people.
What’s the point? I really think that having fun is the key to life and I feel very lucky to be able to share that with others.
My life in six words… Fun, Naughty, Adventurous, Lucky and Well Lived.
A life in brief Charlotte grew up in London in the 1980’s and was highly driven by her sex drive from her very early teens. She lost her virginity to a German tourist in his hotel room in Covent Garden when she was fifteen.
She was disappointed by the act at first but was later seduced by an older neighbour who taught her many filthy things and sent her on a journey of sexual exploration. Thankfully she seduced and later fell in love with an older man at the age of sixteen which kept her out of mischief until she was twenty one.
From there she went on to explore BDSM, group sex and porn before another long term relationship rendered her relatively innocent. When that relationship ended she returned to the adult industry as an independent escort in her late twenties, specialising in the girl friend experience which she enjoyed so much that she gave up her day job in order to give it her full energy and attention; and still very much enjoys to this day.
She has had many other professional roles; previous jobs have included accountancy, project management, various management roles within charities and the NHS and massage therapy… which she still practices; only with a very naughty twist….. 😉
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Any ideas will be gratefully received!

Thank you for all who partook in the last ‘What on earth is this?’ poll, the correct answer was in fact a masturbation aid (for men please see below).


I’m getting the impression that ‘What on earth is this?’ polls aren’t really that popular so I’m going to stop doing them; however I would really value your ideas for my up coming photo shoot which is on Monday – many apologies for the short deadline!!

I’ll be working with the lady who took this much admired pic:

We’re looking to re create similar naughty images, I know a lot of you like the secretary look, so there will be plenty of that! We want to create mostly semi clothed, tongue in cheek pictures, things like getting ready for work, pulling up stockings and/or applying lipstick in a skirt, heels and bra and ‘oops I’m accidently flashing my knickers/bra/nipples’, seemingly innocent images but with a naughty twist!

Any ideas for a good picture would be gratefully received either via the comments option at the bottom of this blog or by email (, if you are feeling shy 😉

Many thanks in advance, Charlotte xxxxx

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Naughty New Year Memories


So it’s nearly 2013 already! How on earth did that happen!?  It really doesn’t feel like 2000 was that long ago. I remember my then boyfriend (and very first love) and I were determined to mark the occasion by doing something ‘special’ 😉 We’d rented a house and travelled with a group of friends to stay in a very pretty village and were enjoying an extremely wild house party (I was only 19 at the time, I certainly can’t party like I used to!).

As the clock edged closer to midnight there was only one thing on our minds… so we snuck away from the party to find somewhere private with a lock and as the clock struck twelve my boyfriend was thrusting deep and hard into my warm, wet pussy. We returned to the party trying to look as innocent as possible; me with a cunt full of his warm cum gradually seeping through my knickers.

Unfortunately we hadn’t chosen our hide away particularly well – a bathroom above the room that every one else was partying in which had great acoustics… our friends had turned off the music to sing ‘auld lang syne’ and their singing efforts had been accompanied by my enthusiastic moans…. Ooops! Not very clever of us but I’m still very pleased to say that the first thing I experienced at the start of the millennium was a nice hard cock inside me!

Now, when you sing ‘auld lang syne’ this year I do hope that you’ll think of me!  This years New Years for me is going to be much more grown up and sedate and will involve close friends rather than cocks (not that I won’t be thinking of them!) but I’m looking forward to it. I hope that you have a very enjoyable New Years Celebration, whatever you decide to do and that 2013 is very good year for you 🙂 xxxxxx
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ImageI’m so sorry that I haven’t written sooner. It’s all been rather busy of late! To all those who voted in the ‘What does that do?’ poll thank you very much 🙂 The right answer was in fact an attachment to a kitchen device, it’s a part of my juicer which my lovely friend Dollymopp saw on my kitchen side and assumed that it was something that I probably stuck up mine or some one elses bottom…. not that I don’t like things up my bottom on occasion ;)…. I just tend to refrain from using kitchen implements.

Thanks to all those who have voted in my ‘Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow?’ poll; hairy on top and smooth underneath is definitely in the lead so the days where a (hopefully extremely hot) beauty therapist aims a laser at my nether regions edge closer and closer…

If you haven’t voted – please do; it’s great to know what you think 🙂

So now for my next poll…


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An Eventful Two Weeks!

My laptop blew up in a cloud of black smoke a few days back, so I am sorry that I haven’t been online to say ‘hello’ sooner, I’ve borrowed a friends laptop while I contemplate my next foray into new technology.

I think it’s fair to say that more has happened in my life in the last few weeks than it has in the last two months! I am now back from a lovely holiday in the sun and I have moved to Zone 1 to a lovely new flat a stones throw away from the river and the delightful Dollymopp who I am meeting for dinner this evening. No more hotels for me, I can now entertain from home which is something that I am very excited about! I must dash as I better get ready for dinner but I’ll write more soon I promise. C xxxx

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A Beggar with Soft Hands

I do believe that it’s important to give something back to those in need when I am going through times of good fortune and my chosen charities are help for heroes and the street homeless of London. I also believe that those doing the collecting for help for heroes should be supported and encouraged, as long as they are not chuggers; which I don’t believe that they employ. I remember , not so long ago seeing young soldiers in uniform in Victoria Station collecting for help for heroes and people were just streaming past them acting as if they weren’t even there – I was disgusted. I always aim to give as much money as I can to registered help the heroes collectors as our armed forces put their lives and livelihood at huge risk for us, with very little in support quite often, when things go wrong.

And ahem. As some of you know I do have a thing for soldiers in uniform too… but I don’t think that enjoying giving money to handsome young men in uniform is necessarily a bad thing. I’ll also never forget my night with two handsome marines but that is all I have to say on that particular matter…

I know that not everyone believes that you should give money to homeless people as they are bound to spend the money on ‘drink and drugs’ well I’m sure that some of them do but I don’t feel that it’s my right to judge them – it’s pretty tough on the streets, I have done both paid and voluntary work with them for years on and off and what they choose to do with the money is up to them; I do avoid those who appear to be obviously high or drunk because they are already in a vulnerable state and I have seen what heroin and severe alcoholism can do, I don’t want to support it but if they have a habit that they are managing then that’s their business, not mine. I give as many pound coins as I can spare and the money may go on booze and fags (and I don’t care if it does) but it may just as well go towards food for them, their dog, a hostel for the night … and often does I think, much better that it goes to them rather than to a chuggers wages; or nameless charity admin costs.

The thing about London’s homeless is unless you speak to them how can you possibly know why they are there or if they are decent people? And I do, a lot, whenever I can. It’s a really rough deal, long term homeless people have dramatically reduced life expectancy and I think unsurprisingly are much more like to develop drug and alcohol addictions which they often did not have until they hit the street. Then to make matters worse so much of society treat them like a subspecies not worthy of even a smile or a few easily spared coins; and smiles do matter even if money isn’t given. So I do give to the homeless whenever I can and if I can’t then I still catch their eyes; and wish them well.

A lot of them are ex soldiers; ex prisoners, people with mental health problems who quite clearly aren’t ‘cared for in the community’ ex care home children and victims of abuse; domestic, physical and sexual. Is there any wonder that ex soldiers who entered service at a very early age (and often to escape troubled home life’s) are left in turmoil on leaving the army without adequate support end up on the streets? That ex prisoners, as we know statistically are very likely to re offend when they are given so little support that they end up on the streets? Why the victims of abuse flee broken from their homes with no funds and no trust and do the best to take care of themselves and end up on the streets? And those with severe mental health problems and no support do too..

Sometimes, just sometimes I do think that the wool has been pulled over my eyes… like tonight! As I went to buy a good bottle of wine there was a girl sitting outside the shop in the rain with a cap by her feet. I stopped and asked if there was anything I could get her and she looked up appreciatively and asked for a spicy pepperoni sausage; two if I could manage it. I was happy to oblige as I used to be quite a fan of them myself until I realised that they mostly contained glucose (weird for such a savoury tasting snack) and that there were healthier ways for me to boost and maintain my blood sugar levels. She took the sausages from me gratefully and rapidly devoured her first; and as I walked away asked me for some spare change. I dug through my purse and located some pound coins which I passed into her incredibly soft hands. If she was homeless then she hadn’t been for long! But who am I to judge? There she was sitting lonely on the cold, hard pavement begging for money while I walked back to a warm flat to share nice wine with a good friend.

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Incall Availability July 2012

My remaining availability for the month of July is as follows:

16th July – 20th July Afternoons and evenings; Caledonian Road – 3 mins walk from the tube; one stop from Kings Cross Station.

I’m probably going to be around for a few days after that; in the afternoons for incalls entertaining from hotels based in London Bridge, Bloomsbury and Gloucester Road by prior arrangement (rooms at my expense, not yours) and in the afternoon and evening for outcalls.I’m then off on my hols’ returning in early August xxxxx