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Funny names for fucking

Some friends and I were discussing the various names for sexual acts which describe them extremely badly but have become so entrenched in our common vocabulary that we don’t even think about them…

Take, for example “I want to eat you” or “suck your pussy” both descriptions of cunnilingus make me cringe; being “eaten” makes me quite literally think of some one chewing on my delicate and sensitive lady parts.. the term being “sucked” again causes me to mentally flinch.. my clit is just far too sensitive to be sucked.. I’d jump two metres off the bed if anyone tried it (luckily no one has!!) but thankfully the most common term for oral on women is being “licked” which doesn’t cause me any problems.. I do after all love to be licked and given the chance to lick also; licking a lady is a treat in itself for me!

Fellatio though fares more badly in language terms though in my mind… “blow job” for example… how impressed would you be if you came to see me; asked for a “blow job” and I took you quite literally and blew on your cock?! “Sucking cock” also for me rings alarm bells, I do admit to sucking lightly on cocks and balls and it appears to be well received; judging by the “presents” I get in my mouth 😉 but can you imagine quite how unpleasant it might be if a lady applied her full on suction powers to your most delicate parts.. not nice, not nice at all!!

I really don’t know where to start with A ‘levels!? … Assuming that it is an english term does it imply that girls doing their A’ levels should also be experiencing being fucked in the arse? Now, I know I was, to my great delight receiving a good buggering from time to time during my A ‘levels but I am fairly sure that it was not the norm!